I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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