those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
