Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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