There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
