Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
