look no pants
Plan B is the new Plan A
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
