Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
