he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
