so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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