Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
