are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
