this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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