So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
