It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
