I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
