WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
