hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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