So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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