God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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