She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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