@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
