jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
