If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
