everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
