Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize