I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
