I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
