you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
