What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
