And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
