i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Randomize
