you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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