they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
