Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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