Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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