my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
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almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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