Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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