at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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