she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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