i just had sex bonerless
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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