Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
