What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
it was like eating out sand paper
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
