GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
