Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
