I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Randomize
