Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
