tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
