Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Randomize
