You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
