If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
