I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I think people are normalizing furries
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
