i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Randomize
