why didn't you poke me back
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
