I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Randomize