she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Couch. On fire.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
