i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
