Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
