Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
