I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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