Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
