I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she looked like the before picture.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
